All Kinds of Love

There’s more to love than romance. According to Psychology Today, there are seven types of love: Eros, Phila, Storge, Agape, Ludus, Pragma, and Philautia. Quite honestly, I had never heard of many of them. However, after reading the article, These Are the 7 Types of Love, I came to a conclusion.

I’ve decided that all seven types of love are wrapped together in the most perfect love. Eros is the passionate, sexual experience of lovers. It is fiery–inflaming the hearts and minds of those involved.  Often the initial attraction we have to someone comes from eros. However, that initial passion often does not and, perhaps, should not last forever. Yes, that flame will burn throughout the years. However, it would be naive to think that it could continue perpetually unabated.

 

Phila, or friendship, in large part is what holds a loving relationship together. Friends share their joys and sorrows. They’re able to talk for hours on end or sit in comfortable silence. If you can honestly say that you’re married to your best friend, you’re one lucky gal.

The familial, dependent love of storge might seem inappropriate for a loving couple. However, if you had seen the way my mother-in-law cared for her husband of over fifty years when he was stricken with Alzheimer’s disease, you would likely change your mind.

To me, universal, agape, love is akin to unconditional love. It’s a love that understands that sometimes we need to put our self-interest on hold. Altruism is associated with agape love. And although we may think that coming to the aid of someone we might not even know as being altruistic, I believe this is a love needed at the center of every happy home.

Ludus is a playful love. Maybe we forget how much fun it is to flirt with and subsequently seduce the man you’ve been married to for many years. Perhaps it is the teasing fun of young love that so many miss as the months become years. Somehow, it makes me smile to just think about how much fun this type of love can be.

Arranged marriages still happen, though not as often as in the past. And this is the love referred to as pragma. Yet even those couples that start out as strangers often grow to love one another in many other ways. In fact, these types of love stories have been some of my favorites throughout the years.

Of course, without self-love, or philautia, there is no love. I still agree with the old Whitney Houston song … “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” We can only give out what we have inside.

Young Love

Hoping it wouldn’t be noticed, he looked again and again at the arm of the teenage girl walking by his side. Finally, he got the nerve to hold her hand for the first time. It was a first for both of them.

Ahhhh, young love … perhaps the beginning of a first love. Although it may not be a lasting love, it is real love. Regardless of your age–love is love, and first love is often an experience neither will ever forget.

I’ll bet most of you remember your first kiss–especially if it was a kiss you had been hoping for with anticipation. Odds are, the boy who was the first to kiss you, is not the man you are with today. While it is true that our first, second, or even third love and beyond may not be the lasting love most of us seek, it is often the one we can never forget.

I know a couple who will soon be celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary. Yes, they were very young when they married … not far out of their teens. And, yes, they are the exception. However, they are also proof of what’s possible.

Congratulations, Judie & Jeff!

It is, of course, more common to see relationships that don’t last. There’s even a name – starter marriage – for a first marriage that ends in divorce. Statistics tell us that over half of the couples that split up do so within the first ten years of marriage. Why is it that some relationships last, and so many don’t?

Perhaps we can acquire some wisdom from those young people who are learning about love for the first time. Let’s go back to being friends first. Then maybe we should remember the importance of touch—how special it feels to simply hold hands. Let’s keep a sense of humor, laugh, do fun things together, and treat each other with respect. If and when a disagreement occurs, let’s sit down, talk, and then find a compromise we can both live with.

No matter your age, you can keep love alive. How? By remembering what I believe is one of the greatest pieces of advice left to us by Dr. Wayne Dyer. “When given the choice between being right and being kind … choose kind,” and keep on loving!

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Once I see that you are reading and reviewing your Starter Library, you may be invited to become a part of my elite Advance Reader Team. This will entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before or not available to the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



Thank You, Louise Hay ~ You Will Be Missed

If you’re familiar with Louise Hay, you know she was the founder of Hay House, which has been publishing positive, transformative books and other media for many years. When we observe someone’s success (especially a woman who succeeded in a business world often dominated by the male population), we wonder how they were able to achieve so much. Were they just “lucky”? Did they get “all the breaks”?

Louise Hay was definitely not born with the proverbial “silver spoon” in her mouth.  In fact, her early years were fraught with difficulties. Born in 1926 to a financially strapped mother, things went from bad to worse when an abusive stepfather entered Louise’s life. At only five years of age, she was raped by a neighbor, and by the time she was fifteen-years-old, she was a pregnant high-school dropout. At sixteen Louise gave up her newborn baby girl for adoption and moved from Los Angeles to Chicago. She stayed in the Midwest for nine years while working at low-paying jobs. It was when she moved to New York in 1950 that she began a successful career as a fashion model, and married English businessman Andrew Hay. However, after fourteen years of marriage, Louise was devastated when her husband left her for another woman.

Fortunately, it was about this time when Louise Hay discovered the New Thought movement. She learned how by changing your thoughts, you could also change your circumstances. When, at the age of fifty-two, she was diagnosed with “incurable” cervical cancer, she put those positive beliefs into action. In her search for answers, she concluded that her childhood abuse and rape were the underlying causes of her condition. Consequently, she refused conventional medical treatment and entered into an intense regimen which included forgiveness and other positive affirmations, nutritional cleansing, and psycho-therapies.

Louise Hay was a sought after speaker, and wrote her first book in 1976. Heal Your Body linked physical ailments to their likely mental/metaphysical causes. In 1984 Hay House publishing was established and her original book was expanded and published. You Can Heal Your Life  hit the New York Times Bestseller list in 1988.

Over the years, Hay House has become the publisher of many bestselling authors such as Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Eckhart Tolle, and Esther Hicks. Louise Hay’s positive contributions to my life and the lives of many others is practically immeasurable. She has left a legacy that will be forever remembered. I wish you a fond farewell.

“Life is a circle. The end of one journey is the beginning of the next.”

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Once I see that you are reading and reviewing your Starter Library, you may be invited to become a part of my elite Advance Reader Team. This will entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



 

Choices ~ Chances ~ Changes

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the decisions we make and how those decisions affect our lives. Some say, “Go with the flow. Things always work out for the best.” Others say, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is one step outside of your comfort zone.” So which is it?

One of my all-time favorite motivational speakers and writers was Zig Ziglar. His wit and wisdom has helped me through more than one challenge over the years, and he’s done it again. There are times in life when we just don’t know what to do … what choice to make.

I think Einstein’s definition of insanity is appropriate for this post. The genius physicist and philosopher said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

Doing things differently … making a change isn’t always easy, and sometimes the choices we need to make are difficult. Maybe we’ve been “going with the flow” for a long time, but we don’t seem to be getting any closer to our goals … to where we want to be. That’s probably a good time to take a chance and “step outside our comfort zone.”

There are some things in life over which we have no control. If that is the case, and there is no other choice, then we must “go with the flow.” However, we cannot expect our circumstances to change if we won’t change. If we aren’t willing to take a chance … take that leap of faith, we’re likely to find ourselves stuck like a hamster on a wheel, running like crazy and going nowhere.

The first step is often the hardest … the scariest. But the first step to getting anywhere in life is deciding we are no longer willing to stay where we are.

Our lives … our destinies are in our own hands. We must be willing to take the steps and make the positive changes necessary to move us forward. The winds of life will always blow, but we can be the one who sets the direction of our sails. When we do, we also choose our destination.

 

 

 

I Love Birthdays!

Okay, I admit it. I’m one of those people who enjoys my birthday more than most. My tendency is to stretch the one day into a celebration lasting as much of the month as possible. One might have thought that the older I get, the less attention I would want to call to the inevitable aging process, but … no!

Cake. Ice cream. Presents. Parties. Family. Friends. Greetings from both near and far.

What’s not to love about all that?

As for all those candles … Well, there’s something to be said for “the more the merrier.” Isn’t it wonderful to see women in their fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, and nineties who still laugh and love life? That’s how I want to age … always loving … always laughing.

Life has proven to me that what you give out, you get back. I choose to focus my thoughts on all the many blessings that surround me each day. My life is filled with family and friends. No matter the experience, it’s possible to look for and find the good in anything and everything that life offers.

My wish for each and every one of you is that you count the candles on your cake and another year of life as the opportunity for another year to live and learn, grow and give, make bigger and bigger wishes and work to make those wishes come true. I am so grateful for each and every person who touches my life and whose life I may touch.

Happy Birthday to all of you … whenever your special day (week or month) may be.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



Love and Letting Go

Not every day starts out perfectly. Sometimes you (or your partner) wake up on the proverbial “wrong side of the bed” and before you know it, you’re squabbling about … Well, you might not even be entirely sure what it is that’s upset you or what started the disagreement, but you do know that it doesn’t feel good.

 Normally, my hubby and I are very compatible. Our morning routine generally begins with a nice snuggle and words of endearment before even getting out of bed. Unfortunately, today wasn’t a typical one. The good news is our disagreement didn’t last long.

How often do we find ourselves holding on to hurts, remembering harsh words, or allowing what we perceived as a slight to affect us for hours? I don’t know about you, but it wasn’t always easy for me to “forgive and forget” … to let things go.

I’m not a psychologist, but from what I understand, letting go is all about facing reality and dealing with what is, not whatever fantasy we might have created in our mind. It’s not always easy to let go of the things that make us sad or unhappy. Depending on if it’s a BIG deal or something relatively minor, we have to be willing to do a little or a LOT of work … not on the other person or situation, but on ourselves.

We have to be honest with ourselves about how we feel. We don’t want to bury that anger or hurt, because if we do, it will just stick up its ugly head sometime when we’re expecting it the least. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years doing what Byron Katie calls “The Work.” Since today’s little dispute with my (99.9% of the time) wonderful husband was minor, it didn’t take much for me to get over it.

Your specific situation will determine how easy or how challenging it will be for you to let go of whatever you might be dealing with. Sometimes, the best we can do is rather than just getting over it, because we want to move forward, we decide to leave the baggage behind and manage to get past it.

Here’s something to consider …

Maybe it’s not holding on that makes us strong, but rather … letting go.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



 

 

 

Love’s Timing

I’ve heard it said that “Timing is Everything.”  It’s great when you seem to just end up in “the right place at the right time.” But what about when what you’ve been working toward and hoping for seems to be endlessly elusive? For me, patience has oftentimes a challenge. I’ve always been the kind of person who knows what they want. Then I do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to make it happen. Well, at least that’s the case most of the time. Sometimes … after a few weeks … months … or even years, I come to the conclusion things are simply not going to work out – my dreams and the reality I was living were too far apart. Ultimately, the decision is made to move on to Plan B.

As you probably know, for much of my adult life, I have been and continue to be a student of personal growth and development. It was a matter of self-preservation, I felt I had to be in order to overcome the after effects of a marriage that left me feeling … Well, let’s just say I didn’t feel very good about myself. There was a lot of negative self-talk going on inside my mind, and it took many weeks … months … and years to begin to see myself as worthy of the love I’d always hoped to find.

I guess my point is, if you’ve been in a relationship that’s left you feeling down on yourself, remember it’s never too late. Love’s timing is always perfect. Whatever or whoever it is you’re seeking, hold on to your faith and be patient. Love will find a way.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



 

Loving What Is

It’s easy to be loving and kind when everything is going just the way we want it to.

  • When your husband is complimentary—telling you how much he loves you, and how beautiful you are.
  • When your children are behaving like little angels.
  • When you’ve just been given praise and maybe even a raise at work.
  • When your weight is right where you want it, and you like what you see when you look in the mirror.

Ahhhh … all is right with the world.

Yes, it’s easy to love what is when everything is perfect.  But what happens when things are not quite so rosy?

Have you ever ended up in an argument with your significant other, and you have absolutely no idea how it started?

Has there been a time when you wonder who those brats are living under your roof, and ask yourself, “What have they done with my children?”

I don’t suppose you’ve ever had a disagreement with anyone at work … especially your boss. You’re always in perfect agreement with him or her, right?

And, of course, the mirror is your best buddy … looking back at you with perfect hair, an unblemished complexion, the physique of a runway model and the clothes to go with the occupation. No?

Let’s face it, life isn’t perfect. The question is, how do we handle all the less than wonderful people we’re force to deal with … and the challenging situations in which we find ourselves?

There’s an old saying, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”  Whether we know it or not, each of us has a choice as to how we respond to difficult, painful experiences. We can choose to look for the good … find the lesson and grow from the experience, or we can choose to see it as unfair, and become upset, angry, frustrated and depressed.

For those of you who say, “I can’t help the way I feel,” I would encourage you to take a closer look. Negative thoughts lead to negative self-talk and ultimately, to negative beliefs. When you take the time to become consciously aware of your thoughts, you can then make the choice  to change those thoughts. By making the effort to listen to our habitual thoughts, we can come to the realization that much of what we thought was true, simply isn’t.

If you’re interested in learning more about today’s topic, I highly recommend Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



 

Summer Love

Do you remember going to summer camp for the first time? I sure do! If you’re anything like me, it was such a special experience. It also seemed like the perfect time to find that special someone. Right?

Let’s face it, there’s just something about meeting a guy when you’re away from home. You’re on the beach or hiking an unknown trail … perhaps you’re visiting a museum or a famous monument or attraction. Everything is new … different … special.

I met my first husband at camp – I was only fifteen-years-old. When school started in the fall, it wasn’t long before he and I were dating and then we became “steadies”. As I got older, I think I knew deep down that he wasn’t “the one” for me. We broke up time and time again. But something always drew me back to him. Who knows? Maybe he felt the same way.

We did end up getting married … way too young, but like the summer, our marriage ended. Summer love … first love … young love. These are all loves to be cherished, those that last through the seasons of life are even more special.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just enter your email and click “Submit” below, and when you do, you’ll be added to my mailing list and will receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita



The Habit of Saying, “I Love You”

In my last blog post, it was mentioned that I say, “I love you,” to my husband regularly at certain times, and that got me to thinking about habits. Then I found this photo and quote …

A habit is defined as “a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously.” Habits can be good or bad, and it’s my opinion that getting into the habit of saying, “I love you,” is definitely a good one. It may be a reminder of how important a role someone plays in your life. Perhaps you say those three little words to express how happy being with that special person makes you. Maybe you want your sweetie to know how much you trust and rely on them … how much you appreciate every moment spent with him or her.

Maybe saying, “I love you” at certain times isn’t simply a habit, but is truly a reminder that you’re with the one individual who has made your life so much better, and you really do see them as the best thing that ever happened to you.

Whenever you say those three precious words, allow yourself to remember their importance. When you say, “I love you,” say it with feeling. Let all the emotions you have for your loved one shine through that simple phrase.

“I’m happiest when I’m with you.”

“I trust you with my heart.”

“I accept you … all of you.  I’ll support you in your choices.”

“I see us together, and I want a future that includes growing old with you.”

Regardless if it’s a habit or not, let those who share your life know in word and deed how important they are to you. My advice would be to say, “I love you,” as often and in as many ways as you can. Expressing love is something we can never get too much of.

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Would you like to be a part of Anita Louise’s Reader Team? Just complete the form below, and when you do, you’ll receive a FREE starter library of the first three novels in The Adler Series. All I ask is that once you finish reading each of the books, you leave your honest review on Amazon and perhaps Goodreads. Being part of my Reader Team will also entitle you to receive the most current books and other cool things from Anita Louise before the general public.

Even if you’re not interested in joining Anita Louise’s Reader Team , please go ahead and get your FREE copy of the first romance novel by Anita Louise, “Just the Way You Are ~ Aaron & Jane” on Amazon. Then, after you’ve read it, please let me know how you liked it by leaving your Review of “Just the Way You Are”. Your review is important – even a few words to encourage other readers is greatly appreciated.

Wishing you Love & Romance,

Anita